Sunday, August 02, 2009
Today we celebrated Scott completion of the bar with a good portion of my family and almost all of Pop's family. It wasn't until later did I realize it was not at Jim and my wedding but at John's funeral I last saw all of us in the same room. Of course always there is a gaping hole whenever there is a family celebration. I am not sure how mnay people feel it, but there is always a part of me that makes me feel I am cheating Scott because I always look for John. Scott and I don't discuss it, but I wonder if he feels that way too or if Scott feels me withdrawing as the depression begins to set in. It is such an incredible cheat for Scott to have all his hard work and accomplishments tainted like this. On the other hand I am so pleased for Scott
