Monday, November 17, 2008
Funny how the death of someone changes what one thinks they will feel and do. Since Mom has died, which still seems a bit surrealistic, everyone has gone in their own direction to deal with it in their private way. After a couple dreams I decided to with the help/advice of the Priest to have Mom’s ashes blessed. The majority of her ashes are now in Arizona I believe already spread in the desert. I have a small portion so Mom’s best friend, Carole, and I can spread together. But the one thing I find surprising and would not have thought this before her passing, I have kept them next to John and Kelly’s ashes in my room. I hope it gives Mom some comfort.
Dad is getting worse and my brothers and sisters are all pitching in getting Dad’s house ready to rent. Have sold or given most of Mom and Dad’s stuff. I do not know what I would have done without their help. One thing I have discovered since John died is how all the stuff we accumulate is just that stuff. Junk for someone else to deal with. I do not feel any need to treasure stuff anymore. At times I wonder if this is just depression, except I have to think it is more of a life lesson of how we don’t take anything with us when we die and feel freer not having so many worldly ties. I do feel deflated. The other night I was out for dinner with Jackie and Bruce at a New Orleans inspired restuarant. There was a chef who easily been John. Same stature and would be about the right age. Is it sad? Not really, because I do think John often inspires others to create good food.
Scott will be home for the holidays and I look forward to seeing him.
Dad is getting worse and my brothers and sisters are all pitching in getting Dad’s house ready to rent. Have sold or given most of Mom and Dad’s stuff. I do not know what I would have done without their help. One thing I have discovered since John died is how all the stuff we accumulate is just that stuff. Junk for someone else to deal with. I do not feel any need to treasure stuff anymore. At times I wonder if this is just depression, except I have to think it is more of a life lesson of how we don’t take anything with us when we die and feel freer not having so many worldly ties. I do feel deflated. The other night I was out for dinner with Jackie and Bruce at a New Orleans inspired restuarant. There was a chef who easily been John. Same stature and would be about the right age. Is it sad? Not really, because I do think John often inspires others to create good food.
Scott will be home for the holidays and I look forward to seeing him.
